pooters

daddy needs to show me how to get a links section on my blog, cos it's just not there. he keeps whinging about trying to get our pooter at home on the internet and put some new pictures and things up there, and some yoof group stuff. luckily I've been helping him develop supernatural patience with my special training programme, so he hasn't kicked the pooter, nor set fire to the desk, nor even uttered a mild swearword ;o)


anyhow, it's just not working. darned pooters. pah.

PS I'm a bit worried about mom. she always has a frozen yoghurt when we go to IKEA. apparently the calcium is good for her and helps me grow. I don't know whether my poo put her off, or if she doesn't want me to grow any more, but no yoghurt was forthcoming today. we didn't even have the little mini chocolate skor chunks she adds as a topping.

what's so great about swedish furniture?

well after a good morning's working and feeding and stuff, I persuaded mom and dad to accompany me to IKEA and Costco ... what better way to spend a monday afternoon? We timed it well so that I could spend a delightful 45 mins in the IKEA nursing room - a place that mom and dad never expected to be. dad says it's not very rock and roll, but I beg to differ. nice seats to kip in while me and mummy do the feed thing. dim lighting, and a good quality floor, plenty of kit to make my life more comfortable. it's like being back stage at a rolling stones gig - except I was the only one drinking.

dad looked a bit too comfortable, so I woke him up by squeezing a high velocity poo and peeing all over my front, his hands, and I think I even managed to get mom at the same time. it was a fantastically messy experience .. you see it really is a rolling stones gig! I wanted to test out just how prepared these parents can be when out on the road. it would have been a laugh if they'd had to take me around costco dressed simply in a soiled diaper on a cold november afternoon.

but, of course, mom had packed me some spare clothes and a mountain of cleaning cloths, so crisis was averted. not sure that she packed any spare clothes for them though. IKEA wood floors - coped very well with mildly acidic warm liquid. mom and dad laughed quite a lot, which was nice. I wonder if I can repeat the performance in the chinese restaurant on friday .. watch this space. weeeeeeeeeeeeee

uncle timbo's got a blog

hoowah, timbo's blogging. I'm guessing he's going to be incredibly intelligent and ramblingly random, which is going to please me greatly. I'm hoping he'll lend me his bootiful fender one day, and teach me how to rock.

please allow me to educate any canadians/brits or others that still believe shrimps get "thrown on the barbie". shrimps are purely a figment of the imagination in the american subculture. the rest of the english speaking world eat prawns.

uncle tim, antie lissa, uncle james, auntie nicole, uncle wayne, auntie megan ... and the many other aussies, I hereby pledge to commit for the rest of my life to upholding the true definition that seafood lovers will only ever barbq prawns, that not EVERY australian sounds like the crocodile hunter, (or paul hogan, edna everidge, richie benaud ...) and that Fosters is actually way more popular in europe than down under ... although they do like to quaff the odd stubby ... of different brands.

It's 5:48 am, and I've just had a great feeding session with mom, hence the obsession with food. I should give us all some more sleep now ... but it is fun watching mom and dad's face when I wake them twice every night. "you can eat too", I say. dad just mumbles, downs his own glass of milk and cookies, and lurches back to bed at the first given moment.

baby shower

when we were on our way home from church this morning mom told me we were having a baby shower this afternoon. I like getting in the bath with dad, but I've watched him in the shower and the water goes everywhere - on his head, in his eyes, all over him. I didn't like that idea at all :( I expressed my displeasure at the thought of a baby shower by screaming with all my might for an hour, in order to prevent mom having lunch, and otherwise getting ready to go.

mom called in reinforcements (dad), and despite my best efforts (like needing my diaper changed again at the last moment) mom took me out anyway, even though I was still screaming.

as it happens there wasn't any sign of water at all, just more admiring females (I'm beginning to notice a certain pattern in my life ?:), lots of yummy things for mom to eat and an absolute mountain of presents. mom enjoyed opening all the parcels, but apparently I have to write the thank you letters again, and I haven't finished the last ones yet. good job I didn't take on dad's old job. how does anyone find time to go out to work?

[ed: does anyone else have the frightening thought that Joel may have prematurely transmogrified into Calvin (and Hobbes) - or is that just us? signed: joel's mom and dad]

now i really, really exist

I've discovered the mail isn't all good. a second birth certificate arrived this morning which confused me a bit. does that mean there's two of me? I haven't seen another one of me about the place. maybe I could get the other me to write my thank you letters. i've got lots to do and my writing isn't all that great yet.

mom says when I can write 'radio controlled car' on my christmas present list she might let dad buy one for me, but until then i'm too little. dad's got lots of good ideas for christmas presents...... mom seems to think I want galaxy chocolate.

today I finally decided to try out the breastfeeding thing. mom's eaten so much chocolate that I figured the milk might taste good by now. I think I need a bit more practice but we didn't do too bad. the doctor seemed to think I did OK when she weighed me after.

a new job?

now that I'm four weeks old, dad thinks it's about time I earn my keep. since he's decided to become a fulltime youth pastor, I thought I'd check out his old job at HSBC and see whether I might like it.

we all went downtown and I got to ride in an elevator in one of the tall shiny office blocks. I reckon that was one of the best bits about going to work. his old office was OK. I could see the mountains and the water, and there were lots of nice girls who were suitably admiring. we got to go out to lunch too, and the butter chicken did look good, but overall I don't think I'd want to go to work everyday.

more presents

I really don't want to side with one of my parents over the other, but there ARE times when mom's right. dad says you only get junk and bills in the mail and can't understand why mom gets excited about checking whether the mail has arrived. I know I haven't been around all that long, but in my short experience the nice mail lady brings nothing but cards and presents. What's more, she does that every day. Cool!

For example, today I got a hand knitted blue and yellow blanket from Granny Tilford, yesterday I got a winter outfit, the day before I got a soft toy - and every day I get more cards congratulating me on my arrival. Anyone would think i'd done something difficult, but there was really only one way out actually, so it would have been very hard to get lost.

What made today special was getting my very first brown envelope. Even mom thought this was a bill, but it turned out to be my birth certificate. now I officially exist. that's great. I feel so much better about myself now.

alexander the movie

so alexander the movie has opened, and dad really wants to see it. rated R (17 and up in Canada). this is not good for youth group or for me really. boo. great name, great guy, should be a great movie - oliver stone's pretty cool. dad's trying to make it out that I'm going to be as cool as alexander the great, but a bit more godly. we'll see.

just had a diaper change, so now's a good time to type. I've had a variable few days. church was awesome on sunday morning, as usual. my friend madison (6 weeks older than me) had her family dedication which was fun. I behaved really well. and on monday I was "angelic" according to mom. then for monday night and tuesday night I have taken to delaying sleep after feed/activity, and then waking early for the next one. mom and dad are getting nearly no sleep and wander round with strange looks on their faces.

however, forced dad to take me to a prayer meeting at church last night (at last!) mom tried to get some sleep, but I've stressed her out a bit. it was raining, but dad and I went down to one of his favourite viewpoints of the city. went round the neighbourhood a bit including past my school (in 4 years time!). popped upstairs to visit uncle greg and auntie andrea at 9:30. they're so nice, and alicia's a cool girl (nearly 2 yrs... trying to finish her dinner at 10pm!).

suddenly dad realised that late evening feeding doesn't have to be nearly such a chore ... he can watch the late show .. will it float? .. hurrah, relief. maybe he won't sigh quite so much. feeding is still really difficult, so we're seeing the special person againg tomorrow.

must dash, sleeping to do. I'd hate to be so tired tonight that I sleep through and give the parents time to relax eh?

lola - day 23

hi all, I've just returned from another big adventure, walking on Kits beach with beautiful views of city and freshly dusted mountains. dad says snow is cold, but a load of fun. vancouver is a very funky city, but I’m not quite sure about some of the people. we walked past a guy today, and as I describe him, my fellow vancouverites will recognise something of our culture!

6 ft fashionable gay 20-something with designer trimmed facial hair, perfectly faded jeans and a “parker” complete with fur hood. wearing shades even though it’s a grey november day. he has a small white poodle-like dog called “Lola”, and was heard to say this to some friends he met …

“she’s doing well. I took her to the homeopath the other day and she was given a remedy to help with her jealousy”

yes, he was talking about the dog. ah. ok. yes. hmm. erm. well.

Europe? are you sure?

mom and dad came home: apparently they'd been out for coffee and were planning my first trip to Europe, a place I've only heard about up until now. I like the sound of Greece and Italy, and France may be OK when I'm old enough to appreciate the food and drink, but I think we'll be spending most of our time in England meeting grannies and great grannies. I'm not sure why all my grannies aren't great. families can be quite confusing sometimes.

parents out to lunch

I had a really nice morning playing with dad while mom caught up on a bit of sleep, but then something really strange happened. dad changed my diaper and put my milk in a bottle, and then he and mom both went out and left me with two girls I didn't know. after they'd given me my lunch (they didn't seem to realise I prefer chocolate milk when mom and dad aren't looking) Sandie and Lindsay didn't seem to appreciate my crying, so I tried out my cute sleeping routine on them and they just loved me.

our food angels

the Sopwith family have to pay huge tribute to the wonderful people who have provided us with many meals over the past 3 weeks. we have been treated to roast dinners and shepherds pie and curries and casseroles. we have quite seriously not eaten this well since arriving in canada, and it's going to be hard to keep up the standard!

special thanks to: anne, dawn, andrea, theresa, terri, monica, lisa, jules, lissa. without you, cereal and yoghurt would now have been overdone.

thanks also to the MANY gifts and hand-me-downs that have come our way. we feel like some of the most kitted out new families ever, through some incredible generosity of friends. we are pretty much speechless.

it's ok, it was a haircut

mom was kind enough to take me out in the stroller today so I could choose my own diapers. I didn't think much of her choice last time. I had no idea there would be so many to choose from when we got to the drugstore. I can see why she got confused. I settled on some Pampers with koalas on them. Maybe my cousin Charlotte in Australia has them too?

afterwards mom went into another store where there seemed to be a very nice lady in charge. mom sat down in a big black chair, and I wanted a better view. so I made a few "oi, are you ignoring me?" noises, and mom took me out of the stroller and put me on her knee. everything was going well until the nice lady turned nasty: got a pair of scissors and started cutting bits off mom. mom didn't seem to mind, but I was so traumatised by the experience I cried for the rest of the day......no one's ever going to do that to me.

my third sunday - day 15

church again today. dad is back at work from now. I knew that, that’s why I’ve spent the last few days being so unpredictable, throwing hissy fits for now reason, and being pretty much impossible to figure out. mom’s not happy about this, but at least I showed dad what a monkey I can be before he runs off and leaves me for hours at a time.

antipasto

more visitors. tim and lissa dropped in with some SERIOUS italian food from a real italian deli on the east side. salami, ham, cheese, olives, stuffed aubergine, and some really special lavazza. I liked that a load. dad seemed pretty happy too. thanks guys. had a bath today too. deli food and a good soak, what more can there be in life?

visitors and adventures

2 weeks old … wow time flies. wendy and jeff came round to visit yesterday morning, it was great to meet them. we went for a walk around hallelujah point in stanley park in the afternoon – I’m sure getting adventurous. I cried a load, which meant all the walkers and bladers looked at me like my parents weren’t feeding me. so they fed me, and I kept crying .. ha, fooled you .. I should stop being such a cheeky monkey. mom took some beautiful photos of me and dad .. except I didn’t look happy .. oops .. sorry guys.

remember

hey, why’s everyone so quiet right now?

took the sports car for a spin - day 12

so my wheels are so cool. have you seen a blue and black zooper sport. it’s great. mom would have ideally gone for a mclaren, but canadians don’t really go for supercars, just fun little sports cars. so we buggied along the sea wall at false creek. wow vancouver is such a funky place to live. we popped in to see wendy, jeff and daniel, but no-one was home .. they can come round tomorrow.

saw the doctor again – I’m back up to my birth weight, thanks to some expert “cup-dunking” as dr rachel called it. mom’s doing well with feeding me, but we may need to see a real specialist, as I still have plenty of room for improvement.

lissa came to tea, since tim was in seattle with all dad’s pastor friends. dad was officially pastor-in-charge for 3 days, even though he’s on vacation to spend time with me. he coped fine, what a guy. mom’s even more amazing than dad. oop, stop me, I’m getting all sentimental in my old age!

carrot soufflé, anyone?

ok, ok, I promise not to make this a blog all about the 3 p’s of babyhood (pee, poo and puke), but I have to tell you which phase we reached today, a real poo milestone. gradually moving away from tar to green goop, today we have something that can only be described as fluffy carrot soufflé. it’s quite a beautiful substance, orange and frothy. I’m a great squeezer when dad removes my nasty wet diaper.

today the tables are turned, mommy is much more favourite feeder than daddy. he deserves to hear me cry and squirm a bit more. but dad played the piano again, and he gets cred points for that. incidentally, dad has a much more mature 3 p’s for parenthood – perseverance, practice and patience, with a large emphasis on the last one!

kicking leaves

had a beautiful walk in the sunshine today and kicked some leaves – nice autumn maple leaves in the local park. met one of my friends Emma who lives 3 blocks away. she’s 10 days older than me, but more ickle. today I really grow up and get on the bottle. still working at the breastfeeding thing, but dad’s kind of had enough of me kicking milk all over him from the cup. tonight I have decided I will behave better, maybe let mom and dad watch some TV for the first time – beautiful. hey, I’ve learnt a really neat trick – wait for my diaper to be removed before pooing. we all expected pee between diapers, but poo is the real man’s thing to do! dad describes catching my pee an artform. hey it’s difficult to pee when someone’s watching. once his back’s turned, it’s so much more fun to spray the floor. all parents of boys know exactly what I’m talking about ;o)

rascal tendencies - day 9

well I’m specialising in morning peace and a masterful rascal routine in the evenings. that worked well for yesterday, and again today. I took mom and dad to church. I spent a load of time greeting people at the door which was lots of fun. Anne kindly put my photo on the back of the bulletin which made me feel like the guest of honour! dad showed me a bit of his favourite film this afternoon – top gun. he used to sing me the theme when I was in mommy’s tummy. I’m not sure he would want me to share that with the world .. but I just did .. naughty Joel.

10:00 to 01.30 – rolled out the screaming rascal routine to a whole new level .. probably not the best thing to do for mom and dad, but it’s interesting watching how patient they can be on no sleep .. [dad says yeah thanks for that mate]

big merge adventure

big merge adventure? does that even make sense? it does to me: "merge" is a gathering of young adults (18-30ish) from around BC. this year again in abbortsford - which is a short hop of 1hr and a bit down the highway.

"short hop"??! for someone who can only see 2ft in front of his nose, i'll have you know abbotsford is beyond the end of the known universe ... it may as well be somewhere exotic like swindon. [jas-y, dad here, you may want to reconsider the use of the words swindon and exotic in such close proximity in a sentence] what's weird about travelling to abby is that if we'd driven a few extra k's we'd have been stopped from going south, as I don't officially exist yet. of course we can be crazy mean terrorist machines us 8-day olds, I may be recuiting you subliminally for works of US devastation even as you read this!

anyhow, the merge. mom and dad said they'd been dreaming of taking me to meet people there for ages, so I did my best to be a little angel: I fed at the right time in the night, woke well, packed a hooge bag of stuff, and we rode out ... into POURING rain. so much for the amazing far-reaching mountain views! mom and dad aimed to arrive at 9:30 and we got there at 9:45. how incredible are we? :o) slept a lot while meeting people (not unusual), and particularly enjoyed bouncing to johnny p singing "glory" - definitely one of my fave songs ever! Since my name means "The Lord is God" and I'm named after a prophet, then it's particularly cool when I sing "no I won't be ashamed, when I lift up your name to let all the world see, You are my King". while we're on the subject of names alexander means "defender of the people" or "helper of the people". I like my name, it's amazing.

we're back from the merge now, and in desperate need of sleep, so, TTFN, be in touch soon. Joel

guy fawkes?

so please could someone tell me who guy fawkes is. I'm canadian, the name means nothing to me, indeed the date means nothing to me .. except it's my one week birthday of course. dad tells me I'm too young for him to share the story of guy fawkes, and refuses to tell me what grandpa used to do with this guy called fawkes each year.

anyhow .. what a day. phoned great granny and great grandad, cried and hiccup'd on cue .. you gotta love me :) sent an email to a friend timothy greenaway, he's pretty young (3 days), so his dad had to help him with the email. invited him to play street hockey with me in 2016 .. should be fun. dad mentioned to mom that I should attend conductor courses one day, learn the whole music thing. so I thought I'd show them how good I already am, by conducting a great portion of Prokoviev's Romeo and Juliet. it's on video ready for me to be embarrassed at my 16 birthday party :( mom and dad laughed ... lots ... I was a bit sleepy.

had a visit from the community health nurse .. I have so many friends it's amazing.

another trip out .. this time to safeway with mom. dad stayed at home and missed me (confirming the sop in sopwith .. pathetic). gerhard came round to visit too, and enjoyed a chocolate cigar with dad (courtesy of the lovely anne and dennis). had a nice chat with uncle greg from upstairs. the excitement of a full day just keeps coming! mom and dad enjoyed nice dinner together AGAIN. I shall have to put a stop to this soon before they become angelic model parents!

celebrate - day 7

hi, I'm a week old. I just had a little party (it's now 3:50am) since I'm officially one week old, I thought we should celebrate. mom and dad kindly turned up, but I didn't see the rest of you. still I sang at high volume, just so the neighbours know I'm a week old.

leaves

just got in from helping dad and parker rake some autumn leaves from the front lawn - they're really nice leaves, I like living here. we should learn how to sleep a bit more during the day, but adventures are too much fun =:)

lyrics

piano

the last 12 hours I really showed mom and dad how well I can behave. lots of feeding without complaint, and even a few hours sleep. it's a bit harsh the way they wake me up every 3 hours, but apparently it's good to put some weight on, and get back up to my beloved 8lb10oz.

dad just played me the piano, now that I could listen to all day. he seems to enjoy it, so I'm going to request we do some more of that soon. hey you should have seen his face when he drank his first coffee in 5 days.

song of the day "your latest trick" by dire straits, in honour of my rather sublime efforts at feeding the way mom wants me to.

beach - day 6

just returned from the beach where I got my first glimpse of the city. whoaa, nice. it took us a while so the sun was setting by the time we got there! came back home via pizza and lots of helpful plastic boxes for joel's world!

photo shoots

dad took some neat photos of me this morning at 5am ... and then some more photos in the evening, check this one out!

I had to teach him how to use the lighting properly, and a little coaching on the self timer and tripod ... but he may pull through as a portrait photographer one day. went to see the doctor today - wow another trip out in the car - life is just too exciting.

some very kind people brought us all supper tonight ... just a couple of cooing blobs to me, but mom and dad seem to know who they were. roast beef, spuds, veg and cool canadian salad. I grabbed a drink and let them eat together at the funky breakfast bar in the kitchen. they look pretty tired, but had a lovely meal. I could tell, because they kept looking at each other and going mmmmmmm, then closing their eyes for a few seconds. they didn't talk much!

return visit

so now we discover that I'm not the only kid in the world that makes breastfeeding really difficult. We return to hospital to see someone who can help us out ... a little progress ... but frankly I prefer it when dad opens my mouth and pours the good stuff down my throat from a little cup.

Mom and dad did laundry, checked email mom made bread and dad cleaned the bath today. not bad considering the amount of sleep I gave them :( if it wasn't for the fact that I wrote it in my journal, they wouldn't believe that happened on day one at home!