How NOT to shop

we're off on holiday in a couple of days so mom had a few last minute groceries and things to pick up. as it was raining this morning, we set off in the car together to shop number 1:
mom put three things in her basket, i put two things we didn't need in the basket. mom made me take them back out so i put them on the floor, along with the rest of the contents of that particular shelf......we go to the cashier, who not knowing the trouble i've caused already offers me a balloon. i ask for a red one. there isn't a red one. i'm not a happy chap. we go back to the car. did i mention that it's raining? everything's wet. i know because i checked. i tried to dry one or two things before mom physically placed me in my car seat. on to shop number 2.

what do you mean you want me to leave my (orange) balloon in the car? not a chance. up we go in the elevator to safeway, where horror of horrors no fire engine trolley is available. i'm a big boy now and like to drive around the store. i'm not going to sit quietly in the front of a regular trolley like a baby. five minutes later we find an available fire truck abandoned in one of the aisles, so i insist mom transfers our shopping, and me, and my balloon into it. now it's all good. we're brrummming our way around the shop with my helium balloon tied to the steering wheel. i think actually i'd rather hold my balloon so i untie the knot and give myself a little round of applause as i manage to get it undone. ooooops.......now the balloon is about 10 feet in the air, just resting on a light fitting. i need to get it back, and let mom know. she very patiently climbs into the back of the fire engine and tries to reach it. just too short, and at six months pregnant not wanting to leap about in the back of a moveable trolley. she accosts a young safeway employee ( i did mention this is a 'choices' supermarket balloon we're trying to retrieve here) and asks him to hold the trolley still while she climbs up onto the fire engine roof. unsurprisingly, he thinks this is a bad idea, and promptly scales the 8 foot high freezer cabinet. after a few deep breaths he launches himself off, grabbing the balloon string as he falls. it's safe. hoorah. mom now takes control of the balloon, which is a little bit upsetting, but we're nearly done shopping.
we get to the checkout. i'm not allowed to drive the fire truck into the car park, and what usual happens is some nice man transfers our shopping into a regular trolley which mom pushes while i take charge of the elevator. today however, the not so nice man wants a quarter in order for us to have a trolley for the shopping. this wouldn't have presented a problem except mom's only quarter is in the trolley she abandoned halfway around the store when we found the fire engine....
finally the shopping is in a trolley, and we go to the elevator. i take us down to the parking level, mom backs the trolley out, i press a few buttons.....mom calls me to come out and find the car...i press a few more buttons, and a few more, and ...uh oh the doors are shutting...fortunately mom has the trolley still in the doorway but it's now jammed and can't be moved in or out, the doors won't open, the alarm is going off..hmmm i think i might be in trouble so i move as far away from mom and the door as possible so there's not a chance she can lift me out over the wedged trolley although how she thought she was going to manage that with a tummy the size of hers i don't know.
eventually the doors begin to move again, mom grabs me and drags me back to the car. i'm pleased to say being a good mommy she didn't let go of balloon in all the drama - i wouldn't have wanted to lose it